twenty-two.

Good afternoon.

I'm waiting for the Mets game to come on. I'll be able to watch a little bit of the game today, and they're on ESPN tomorrow night. Yay! 

Maia's prom is tonight. Well, the first one at least. Melissa and I going. Since we were part of this particular homeschool umbrella group (aka alumni), we were invited to go. I'm wearing a black dress (which I wore three years ago to the other prom, as an alumni). Hopefully I won't feel incredibly uncomfortable.  A few of our friends will be there - so thankfully we won't feel like complete idiots. :)

What does it take for me to move on from unpleasant situations?  I know all about forgiveness. It's a vital component to my being. If I don't forgive, God won't forgive me. And all the bitterness I harbor inside will eventually overtake me.  But even though you forgive....you can tend to remember the hurt that others (including yourself) have caused.  How do I get back to the gentle, friendly, genuine self that I once was? In the past two years, I feel like that I've become cold inside, due to the repeated offenses of life.  Are individuals truly sorry? Or will they go back to what they were, and I get hurt again.  I take huge steps back because I do not want that to happen again. I've been guilty of getting hurt and letting things slide.  I suck at confronting people when it comes to my personal issues. I'm kicking myself for being naive...  So, recently there has been an opportunity to reach out, and I'm not sure if I want to reciprocate. And in a way, it seemed like I'm supposed to be convinced to reach out. What if I don't want to? Why do I have to do all the work and put forth all the effort in a relationship? If I do, will it be what it was? The same mistakes, consequences, and regrets.  Oh well....I know I have to change my mindset in order for things to change. 

Hmmm....the questions I have yet to answer. 

The game needs to come on sooner. 

xoxo